Ren's Friend Advice: Ditch Aaron.

    Hey folks. Ren is here and I got some insane, jerkass wisdom (or wis-dumb) to share with y'all. With all have friends in our lives. They're there with you through the best and worst of times, shaped you in some ways, and helped you out. Then we also have friend's that fall into the "dysfunction junction" territory. We still have the aforementioned traits, at times, but we like to crack jokes on one another, battle each other on who can drive to In-N-Out Burgers first, and play some pretty shitty games on each other as well. Among these games are "Ditch Aaron". I know what y'all thinking; "What the fuck is that?" Well let me school ya. Ditch Aaron is named for a very "distinctive" member of our five-man band named Aaron Lacy.

Well, seven actually.

                              

He's pictured in the middle, sitting between me (wearing the black and gray jacket, looking pretty lost) and Lance, and holding a laptop, looking up with a borderline creepy stare. That among other things are his key characteristics (bad driving, overeating, lack of impulse control, etc.) but we'll delve into that next time but get to the game. It involves a group of friends leaving a fellow man behind when he is frequently distracted by the opposite sex to the point that he disregards his comrades. This action can apply to anyone of the group, especially Aaron. Whenever we are out and about (usually to a mall) and Aaron trails off to try to mack to a girl, Jeremy, our group's (de-facto) leader, initiates the game by saying "Quick, leave him". Before you know it, we stormed down the escalater and out of that motherfucker like if we had stolen something, then jumped into the car and started it up before Aaron caught up with us, just so we can drive around him in circles, taunting him. It wasn't the first time this has occured; there have been many great stories told of this on-going game.

It may sound like cold blooded torture, but for us, it was epic. In a way it was Karma directed at him, for his repeated attempts hooking up with chicks by coming on very strong. So we had to keep him in line and calm him down hormonally. But still, Aaron's a determinator. He does not feel remorse, he cannot be reasoned with, he will not stop until you are defiled. To make a long story short, never leave your fucking crew behind just to get lucky for selfish reasons or else you will be left behind. Never! Have self control in your game. Allow the target....I mean girl have some space. With that said you can continue to use this tatic to get back at your own horn-dog buddy. I mean it; do it. It can happen to somene at the club and your pal would say "Hey, brosky. Ronny has a massive hard-on and he's talking to those girls. You know, the ones with jealous bfs. What should we do?" Then that's when you would say "Let's pull a Ditch Aaron on him."
"Who the fuck is Aaron?"
"Don't worry about it, let's just leave his ass."
So fellas, if you're looking to screw with your own boy, take this cruel act of hilarity in consideration.